![]() I have been on an SSRI (my first) for 6 months now. Public figures such as yourself who use their platform to help normalize these conversations and destigmatize anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds, are doing such a service to so many. I’ve thought about this post many times since first reading it and keep meaning to return and comment. Joanna, thank you so much for sharing so openly here. The hardest two months of my life, why suicide isn’t selfish, and Samin Nosrat on her antidepressants. All my love, as always, and please feel free to ask questions in the comments. If you feel you may benefit from it, but are holding back only because of nerves or stigma, maybe consider talking to a doctor. So! Tl dr: This is the face of a woman who loves her family, running a business, watching TV shows, and reading books, and who would marry her anti-anxiety medication if she could. And I’ve been through three depressions - two postpartum and one years later, but Celexa helped me pull out of them. I’ve gone on and off medication through the years, like when I was pregnant and breastfeeding the boys (although I’ve since learned that many people stay on low-risk meds throughout pregnancy). “They can be necessary even with all the other stabilizers in place.” “Many people should and do take meds forever,” says Lina. But, at this point, I plan to take medication long-term, in the same way another person might take daily insulin or cholesterol medication. My friend Claire Mazur, for example, had success with antidepressants, but then got into running, which helped keep her mood stable. Some folks need medication for a short while, others for their whole lives. “You should feel encouraged to tell your psychiatrist, and they should listen to you. “If you’re having side effects, you can switch and try something different,” says Lina. It can be frustrating at times, and other times, it’s fine. For me, the only one I’ve noticed is sexual: it takes me longer to have an orgasm. Medications have side effects for some people, although among my friends, they’ve been mild or non-existent. It can help you get to the point where you can take better care of yourself - with sleep, exercise and a larger regimen of care - and then it’s a snowball rolling down a hill.” “But if your nervous system is overly vigilant and turned up to 11, medication can take the edge off. “Anti-anxiety medication and antidepressants are not a magic button, and they’re not for everyone,” says my friend Lina Perl, who is a clinical therapist in Manhattan. Instead of robbing me of creativity, medication has actually allowed me to brainstorm more easily, without having to battle anxious thoughts. Of course, I still worry about my kids and work and relationships and the world at large - but now I don’t obsess or catastrophize. Instead of spending all my energy managing my emotions, I can just be myself. My mind now feels clear, versus noisy and whirring. She suggested I go on 20 milligrams of Celexa, an anti-anxiety medication, and just see how I felt.Īnti-anxiety medication, for me, has made all the difference. During our meeting, I explained that I was eating well, drinking water, seeing friends, walking and riding my bike every day - but that for the past few years, I could not shake the constant grip of stress and anxiety. Would taking mediation mean I was officially crazy? What if I went on meds and wasn’t myself anymore? Would I fall into a zombie-like fog? And what if it dulled my creativity? After all, weren’t all good writers tortured?Ī few weeks later, though, I met up with a psychiatrist I had found through my work insurance. “It doesn’t have to be this way,” she said, putting her hand on mine. And I had just confessed to her that, the night before, while heading to meet my boyfriend for a movie, my nerves felt so raw that I had careened into a bar, ordered a glass of white wine, and stood there chugging it. My colleagues called me “Princess and the Beep” because I’d startle whenever a phone rang or someone coughed. “You’re so keyed up.” She witnessed it daily. “You should talk to a doctor about anti-anxiety meds,” my co-worker Quinn suggested one day, as we ate lunch at a café near our Soho office. At night, I’d lie awake, staring at the ceiling, my mind one big scribble. Even simple decisions - whether to go for a walk, when to call my mom - overwhelmed me. I was convinced my boyfriend would suddenly stop loving me and leave. Friends always seemed vaguely mad at me, although whenever I asked them they insisted they weren’t. Then I would feel panicky all day: if a car honked, I would jump if my boss shouted, I would cry in the bathroom. Every morning, I’d wake up with hot gulps of anxiety, as if I were drinking boiling tea.
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